Love Your Wives

by James Reynolds, Jr.

Love Your Wives

• Make a quick list of things you like: job, friend, book, “toys”, house, car, etc.
• Choose one of them and write five things you like about it.
• Write five things you appreciate about your wife. (To keep wives busy, write five things you appreciate about your man.)

Do you love your wife?

What does it mean to love something or someone?

1. KNOWLEDGE

2. DECISION (based on the knowledge)

   Is she number one in your life?

   What exclusions do you make? (God? Self? Child? Job? Ministry? Country? Biblically, there can only be one exclusion—God! Ephesians 5:25,28,29,31,33a)

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave G3860 Himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

G3860. paradidomi, par-ad-id'-o-mee; from G3844 and G1325; to surrender, i.e. yield up, intrust, transmit:--betray, bring forth, cast, commit, deliver (up), give (over, up), hazard, put in prison, recommend.

**in·trust** (¹n-tr¾st“)_ v._ Variant of **entrust.**


 **en·trust** (µn-tr¾st“) also **in·trust** (¹n-)** --_ tr.v._ en·trust·ed**,** en·trust·ing**,** en·trusts**.** 1.** To give over (something) to another for care, protection, or performance:_ “He still has the aura of the priest to whom you would entrust your darkest secrets”_ (James Carroll).** 2.** To give as a trust to (someone):_ entrusted his aides with the task._ See Synonyms at ** commit.**


**com·mit** (k…-m¹t“)_ v.** com·mit·ted**_,** com·mit·ting**,** com·mits**._ --tr.** 1.**_ To do, perform, or perpetrate:_ commit a murder.** 2.**_ To put in trust or charge; entrust.** 3.** To place officially in confinement or custody, as in a mental health facility.** 4.** To consign for future use or reference or for preservation:_ commit the verse to memory.** 5.**_ To put into a place to be kept safe or to be disposed of.** 6.a.** To make known the views of (oneself) on an issue:_ I never commit myself on such issues._ **b.** To bind or obligate, as by a pledge:_ They were committed to follow orders.** 7.**_ To refer (a legislative bill, for example) to a committee._ --intr._ To pledge or obligate one's own self:_ felt that he was too young to commit fully to marriage._ [Middle English _committen_, from Latin _committere_ : _com-_, com- + _mittere_, to send.] **--com·mit“ta·ble_ adj._**


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**_SYNONYMS: commit, consign, entrust, confide, relegate._** These verbs mean to give over to another for a purpose such as care or safekeeping. _Commit_ has the widest application and means to deliver to another to deal with: _The general sent the troops committed to his charge into battle._ The word can also refer to giving over for preservation or confinement: _I committed the sonata to memory. The patient was committed to the hospital._ To _consign_ is to transfer to another's custody or charge: _The owner consigned the paintings to a dealer for sale. Entrust_ and _confide_ stress trust and confidence in another: _The task was too important to be entrusted to a child. She confided her plans to her family._ To _relegate_ is to assign to a specific and especially an inferior category or position: _Some scientists relegate parapsychology to the sphere of quackery._

G1625. ektrepho, ek-tref'-o; from G1537 and G5142; to rear up to maturity, i.e. (gen.) to cherish or train:--bring up, nourish.

G2282. thalpo, thal'-po; prob. akin to thallo (to warm); to brood, i.e. (fig.) to foster:--cherish.

Is your wife more important to you than your job?


Short of giving up your job/career, what evidence does she have of that fact?


What evidence demonstrates that she is number one in your heart?


What is her favorite color?  Food?  Place?


Have you made a clean break with all past relationships?


Have you ever said to your wife: “There is nothing you can do that will ever cause me to divorce you.”?  What would keep you from saying it?

Nobody but her knows what makes her feel loved. I would be remiss to try to give you a “tried and true” technique on how to love your wife. But she can tell you, if anyone can.

41 v=19 n=4 o=18 (Half is thru verbal communication.)

These are the things your wives have said that make them to know that you love them:

These are the things your wife has said that make her to know that you love her:

…NOT!

When he serves up the world on a platter for me**…NOT!**

When he lets me be his maid.

• Do all his dishes

• Pick up his dirty clothes AND do his laundry.

• Make all of his meals (without even a tip.)

• Make his/our bed**…NOT!**

  When he reads my mind, so I never have to tell him what I want**…NOT!** (That is really scary for a guy, ladies.)

  When he actually lets me live inside of his house with him (and not in the dog house…)…NOT!

  When he is so enraptured by me that he is oblivious to all of my selfish behavior**…NOT!**

  When he lets me stay home and care for the children while he goes fishing with his buddies on his days off**…NOT!**

  When he spends his whole check or all of his money just on me**…NOT!**

Each of them had the opportunity and I promised them that their statements would be completely confidential, but not a one of them even hinted to anything like these kinds of things.

NOTE: What she/they didn’t say was as informative as what they did say.

WHAT THEY REALLY SAID:

	He tells me he loves me.  (Ladies need to hear the words.) [Tells me with words that he wants, needs, desires, loves, and appreciates me.]

His commitment to our marriage vows and thus to me.


	Calls me his sweetheart.  (Just make sure your _pet_ name for your wife is NOT belittling, depreciating, or devaluing.  There is enough in her day that will attack who and what she is, you should not add to it.  You are her protector.) [Nicknames/pet names  (makes an atmosphere of love and security—like a special bond or place)]


	He shows me that he has my best interest at heart.


	If I am out late or driving in a storm, when I return he tells me he worried about me and he is glad that I am safe.


	He lets me know (tells me) if he were to do it all over again that he would choose me.


	When he brushes my hair.


	When he tells me to talk so he can listen to me.


	When I’m going on a trip, he always finds a way to slip a card into my things.


	…and sometimes a gift in my suitcase.  [Surprise treats that simply _prove_ “I was thinking of you.”]

He is considerate of me. [NOTE: NOT when he is, but he is!] e.g. he warms up the car for me even when he’s not going with me; he opens the door for me; he is very much a gentleman.

Tells me I am his best friend.

Takes my hand when walking.


	Writes letters to me, letting me know how he still feels after all these years.


	Picks up the house without me having to ask him for help.


	Gives me emotional attention, e.g. wanting to hear about my day; asking me if I’m OK if something sad has happened.


	He spends time with me in the evenings when at all possible.


	When he has told me that if I were on the other side of the world he would start walking and not stop until he found me.


	Buys me red roses for Valentine’s [Sweetheart’s] Day faithfully every year.


	Calls and talks to me in the middle of the day.  (not a scheduled time; out of the ordinary)


	He is very thoughtful to take me where I like to go.


	He says, “Don’t ever leave me.”


	Financial attention: not _sole_ provider, but _primary_ [responsible] provider, though maybe not making money, providing so I feel he is taking care of me.


	When he has the family (and not just when there are guests) wait for me to be seated to begin eating.  [LOTS OF CHIVALRY—LADIES STILL LIKE A MAN.]


	When I ask him to, he makes me laugh by telling jokes.  (I ask him to tell me jokes.)


		How many wives like to laugh with your husbands?


		How many of you like to have him make you laugh?


		How many of you laugh at him?


	When is generous toward me with his money.  He always makes sure that I have spending money.  [if you do not have it at least tell her would if you did and do it when you do.  PLAN]


	Tells me I look nice.  (verbal affirmation)  (Cannot complain about her physical features and then expect her to respond intimately to him.)


	No matter what I go through I can count on him to see me through.


	Physical compliments, not sexual.  Physical compliments that are.


	Whenever we go shopping, he drops me at the door of the store and then parks the car.


	When he takes the time and energy to discuss controversial issues with me.


	When he wants me next to him in a gathering i.e. been seen in public with me.  (Not necessarily physically together but wants me near.)  (“We are always together as a family.  We are only apart for work or when business keeps us away.”)


	When he tells me I am his sounding board and that he is not angry with me or at me (EXTREMELY IMPORTANT.  Get her permission.)


	When I’m using public comfort facilities, he waits nearby for me.


	Looks at me and uses our secret wink.  (special signals/expressions)


	Puts me on his lap and hugs me tight.